Something Interesting
I get
Five minutes to conceive an idea
Write it
Put it in a way that you’d like it
Read after I retype it
Crazy
Lately I’ve had a chance to think
Never the best thing
It seems when I’m working
My brain’s getting better rest and
Thinking about things that are more interesting
Like (if) I took a step today
I’ll contemplate the next step
To invest in
But when I’m resting
I let my past bother me
Wading through the loss
And the anarchy
Is to blame
For my current state of lethargy
Snails
How did I let them get past me
To the point where I’m
Not even part of the crowd
That’s usually what
I end up thinking about
Leaving me to draw conclusions
Say
Today is a new day
And make broken resolutions
Get back to expanding my intellect
Contemplate the merits of evolution
Read somewhere that it’s not the strong
Who survive
It’s the biggest group
So my solitude and lack of participation
I’ve realised isn’t from
Lack of skill or motivation
(But)
Aggravated anticipation
Of the pain
I’d caused (I would (might) cause)
Made those around me magnify
What they deemed my flaws
Especially the one where
I consistently disobey laws
So it isn’t my fault
Is what a weak me would say
But if I did that
Then
I would be depending
On a stranger to move me
Out of the seat you see me in today
So I say
Put it to myself in plain language
No one but yourself can cause you pain
Anguish
And if you want to be insane languish
In self pity
Which (is something) I refuse to do
See this is what I think about
When I have nothing to do
I know it means nothing to you
But for me it’s my survival
Of my life’s story
Getting written and re-written
To the same conclusion
That I believe there is GOD
But I believe in evolution
I was born with blessings
That [when I] (allow me to) rationalise
The world to me is imprinted
With disillusion
Meaning that
If I had to depend
On what I was told to know
My potential would never grow
There are places I would never go
And I would never improve my place in life
Or understand the suffering of others
Mothers to be precise
This is what I do
When I have nothing to do
I try to explain to you how I think
And how I experience emotions
As if they don’t exist and
I should talk about things
That are more interesting
But I’m tired
Just took a step
And my brain is resting